Bouquet clenched in fist and strangers' cameras flashing, I reluctantly turned to Naval A-hole to gauge his reaction. I so badly wanted to scream, "I didn't mean to catch it! I swear!" At first glance, all was just fine. He was smiling, his bright blue eyes flashing under his blond buzz cut (no more Nazi-looking guys, I promise). But what I saw in his eyes stopped me cold. A split-second flash of absolute terror.

I spent the rest of the night crying in a bathroom stall, with no explanation. I don't think he needed one. When we got back to the hotel room and had it out, it was clear how great the distance was between our relative desires to move to the next level. And all of that came from a momentary flutter I saw behind his pupils.

I digress....A few months later we attended a wedding together (our first) and I was thrown in with all the Naval A-hole wives. Not really my crowd but...OK, I was blind and stupid and I'm ridiculously thankful in hindsight that he dumped me so I could avoid what would have been a terribly boring life as a vapid Naval A-hole Wife. Anyway, when it came time for the bouquet toss, I was forced out onto the floor by someone's overeager wife determined that I join their cult. I stood at the back of the gaggle of women, only to have the damn bunch of flowers come right at my head. I swear to you, if I didn't reach up to catch it, I would have been smacked unconscious.